What is the funniest joke that you've ever heard?
Answers: A woman comes across a man and asks him, are u the father of john? the man replies Oh yah! are u the hooker whom i banged at my son's birthday party last year? the woman says no. the woman whom i slept with after we became drunk at my son's halloween party? the woman shakes her head. ALL RIGHT! i give up. who are u? the woman replies i'm your son's form teacher.
Ques.How many Lawyer jokes are there?
Ans .Three
The rest are true stories
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: My friend is dead! What can I do? The operator says: Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: OK, now what?
SUBJECT:Whoa!
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey Hey! What are you doing?
The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and have some.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few puffs.
After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.
The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the shore, then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while trying to get a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says Hey you!
The Monkey looks down and says F********ck! Duuuude!.......
How much water did you drink?!!
Ques.How many Lawyer jokes are there?
Ans .Three
The rest are true stories
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: My friend is dead! What can I do? The operator says: Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: OK, now what?
SUBJECT:Whoa!
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey Hey! What are you doing?
The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and have some.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few puffs.
After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.
The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the shore, then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while trying to get a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says Hey you!
The Monkey looks down and says F********ck! Duuuude!.......
How much water did you drink?!!
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